Swanky.

I hug people I hate so I know how big I need to dig the hole in my backyard.

There’s no room for bodies in my brother’s backyard, now that he and his wife finished their new hangout area, complete with a full kitchen and bathroom, fire pit and fireplace, and a crying wall. So we broke the place in on Saturday night.

Pretty bitchin’ imported sink in the bathroom. (Imported from Mexico, but still.)

My nephew was proud of himself for breaking his previous record of staying up late –1:30 a.m. – but I think it’s also important for kids to experience defeat. So I kicked the shit out of him in pool.