Tuesday, March 31, 2015

And I Lived To Blog About It.

If you don’t have anything nice to say... totally tell me what it is. I love shit talk.

Could be why I went I am nuts about the new documentary about Scientology that’s running on HBO: Going Clear. It featured some of the disgraced former leaders badmouthing the hell out of the religion. Including why it should never have been recognized as a religion in the first place. And they seduced and keep a hold on Tom Cruise.

The Scientology headquarters, above, looms over Franklin Ave. in Los Angeles, across the street from my personal religion’s headquarters: Upright Citizens Brigade, where I’ve performed improv. Everyone who parks on the streets alongside the Scientology center will attest that it gives them the heebie-jeebies.

And once, I was inside the place. For an audition. The folks there created a protein workout drink (they really know how to print money) and were casting for a host to promote the stuff. The actor’s fee was appropriately insane: $10,000 for three-days work. Who was I to say no.

Sitting in the lobby, I watched celebrities check in (it’s also a hotel for them) until two super perky blondes brought me into a room to audition. I’ve never had anyone smile wider and love my work so much. I was terrified.

I didn’t book the job, which was okay, because my only motivation was to get the hell out of there without being snared and hung upside down by a spring noose trap.

The documentary is on all week on HBO, including twice tomorrow. It’s as unsettling – and fascinating – as you can imagine. You really gotta see it.