Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• If you ever feel stupid, remember how much you used to love your six-disc changer.

• My fantasy is to deliver a eulogy in which I simply say “So what?”

• The only way to know a teen in a movie is ashamed to be out with his parents is to have him wearing headphones.

• The Egyptians didn’t worship cats nearly as much as the Internet.

• I’ll never forget where I was the day I learned to add page numbers to a word doc.

• Not being able to sleep is the new sleep.