Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• I really want to rent a hot air balloon. Or at least a moderately-attractive air balloon with a great personality.

• You are the five-fingered hand model of casting directors.

• There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.

• What the hell does my dog have to sigh about?

• 35 is the best age to stop telling people you’re 23.

• Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.