In Which I Ate, Drank And Landscaped.

At Oaks Tavern, show some respect, and have your drinks roofied away from the felt.

However, if Oaks was angling for a five-point Yelp rating, it had me at the karaoke version of “I’m on a Boat.”

I believe the term is “mono-eater.”

Since Ricky’s been doing his best Pigpen impression lately, I filled his favorite dirt patch with simulated wood chips. (Rubber doesn’t attract insects and I figured it would be comfier.) But Rick is one ungrateful bastard.