Feel The Love, Ladies.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, which can be a little heavy for the single folks. But whenever you feel really alone, remember: you’re part of the biggest, most reliable 4G network in the country.

As is tradition, I like to post ten things that will enlighten women about men – this time a day early before the whammy of a three-day Valentine’s weekend:

1. If you’re checking Twitter while he looks to see if he has a condom, definitely insist on the condom. 
2. See a guy you like? A good pickup line is “I have a phone charger.” 
3. Here’s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex: 1) He does. 
4. Guaranteed money maker: a cleaning service employed by men who think a hot girl is coming over in 20 minutes. 
5. We can tell by your intricate Starbucks order that you insist on putting a towel down before making love. 
6. “Downton Abbey” in the streets, “Game of Thrones” in the sheets. 
7. Feel free to cut your hair short. It’s a great way of announcing your support of gay marriage. 
8. When we text you at 2 a.m., it’s obviously because we have a deep spiritual question and want to talk about our feelings. 
9. “Is this what caring about sports feels like?!” is a fun thing to yell during sex. 
10. If you only knew of the horrors we have imagined to prevent premature ejaculation. We’ve seen things. Horrible, horrible things.