This is how the terrorists must imagine we treat our dogs.
And whenever I’m home, Ricky begs me to let him go outside, where he’s hooked to a 30-foot lead and has trained himself to bite down on a hose nozzle to give himself a drink.
So imagine my surprise when I came home yesterday and had a complaint notice from animal control which read: “There is a concern regarding your dog described as Pit Bull breed being left in sun rays as well as chained all day. Please remedy prior to animal control having to intervene.”
Asshole who called the cops, do you know what happens if they intervene? The dog who lives at the beach and eats fancy food and sleeps on a memory-foam mattress gets euthanized. Try getting a Pit Bull adopted from the pound. Not so easy.
I immediately called animal control, and within five minutes the head of the department showed up. He knew right away this was preposterous, told me people should mind their own business and that I should consider the summons voided. He gave me his card and told me to call him directly if I ever had another problem. Bing, bang, boom.
So, concerned animal lover, before you pass by my house and pick up the phone because you presume my dog stays outside all day long against his will, maybe you should knock on my door, and find out that I’m always ten feet away from my him when he’s out there. And by the way, the dog wishes he could be outside all day long.
Or, you can take that phone, turn it sideways and shove it deep, deep, deep up your ass.
