Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• I can tell by how long you hold the buzzer when buzzing me into your building whether or not you think I’m an idiot.
 
• My ideal diet would be people I don’t want to talk to standing by all the food that’s bad for me.

• “I am definitely getting rid of Time Warner Cable.” – Me, every month for three years.

• I miss wrinkles on foreheads.

• Somebody is going to have to explain LinkedIn to the San Diego mayor.

• “Jesus loves you” has a whole different meaning in a Mexican prison.