Friday, June 14, 2013

Anyone Wanna Volunteer To Be My Emergency Contact?

I’m in the mood to dance like an asshole. Will one of my friends please get married soon?

And we have a volunteer: my friend John. Actually, I’m not close friends with him yet, so I’ve only been invited to his bachelor party, which takes place this weekend in Las Vegas.

We leave today, and I’ll attempt to blog once while I’m there. But while I still have all my faculties, a piece of advice to the groom: if you have to go into your bathroom to take a piss, make sure the hooker keeps clapping her hands so you’ll know she’s not stealing anything.