Don’t Look Under That Rock.

I’d say I hate hanging out with racists most, but after that it’s people who watch reality TV.

I’ve written about these shows dozens of times. They’re cheap, scripted and take thousands of jobs away from actors and crew. They’re about as “real” as a leprechaun. Or a unicorn. Or Jesus.

My friend Ariel was approached by a producer this week to possibly star in a reality show about his life. He’s a very good Latino actor, with an interesting day job – he’s a mercenary car spokesperson who spends his weekends flying around the country helping car dealerships conduct weekend sales. He’s married with two kids, and asked me what I thought about him doing a reality show.

My advice to him: run. Run ‘til flames shoot out of his ass.

One check on IMDb, and you’ll notice all these “reality” shows have casting directors. I see casting notices daily for all the big shows, looking for actors to come on and pose as mail carriers or a waiters, or friends or love interests of the stars. I’ve mentioned before I know a woman who was on “The Bachelor,” portraying one of the single chicks, even though the network knew full well she was living with her fiancé in real life. They paid her to keep that secret. She is, by the way, horrified that she made out with the bachelor.

I was watching the prison show “Lockup” on MSNBC, which I thought was a very real docudrama, until I realized in one episode they filmed master shots, then over-the-shoulder close-ups, which meant they shot conversations several times over. They asked prisoners to repeat conversations after turning the cameras around. Reality.

What Ariel also has to realize is that his life is interesting, but not interesting enough for ratings. So the “producers” (writers) of his show will step in and stir up shit. They’ll add controversy and racism if they have to. They’ll turn his trophy wife into an atrophy wife. And it’s quite possible he’ll be saddled with the stigma of no longer being an actor but a buffoon on some piece of shit show.

Are there exceptions? Sure. My friend Dave Giuntoli was a castmember of MTV’s “Road Rules” years ago, and now he’s the star of the TV show “Grimm.” But Dave was an actor with talent who happened to be on a reality show. He’s the exception who proves the rule.

Ariel, I know you love a challenge, but I hope you just turn this down and keep adding to your already super impressive acting résumé. Remember: it’s not so much a challenge as it is a suicide mission. And reality TV ain’t Private Ryan, and you ain’t Tom Hanks with the shaky hands. Hard pass.