Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• When I meet someone who’s smart and funny, but they think they’re smart and funny, they no longer appear smart or funny.

• Frederico, my hair psychic, is always saying how down to earth I am.

• Never eat at a chain restaurant while on vacation.

• My friend Daniel was being weird, and in that I mean he wasn’t being weird.

• Alcohol makes people sad. It’s like the Lifetime movie of beverages.

• My goal is to become as smooth as the Hulu voiceover guy sounds.