• My brother texted me that he had brunch with Charlie Sheen’s twins yesterday. He meant Charlie's kids, right?
• You know what magazine covers really need? More Kardashian.
• All women love Adele. All women love red velvet cake. What would happen if Adele wrote a song about red velvet cake? #WorldWouldImplode
• How come when food gets personified in commercials it always has a thick Brooklyn accent?
• Super cute girl at my gym working out with her boyfriend who’s wearing shoes with individual toes. #TragedyOfEpicProportions
