• The NFL draft picks’ wardrobes make me want to go back in time and rethink my bar mitzvah suit.
• To all you folks on the cruise that traced Titanic’s route and held a memorial over the wreck: the wrong boat sunk.
• Smirnoff has a new whipped-cream flavored vodka, which is perfect – if the drinking age is 11.
• My niece’s birthday party is coming at the perfect time. I had just finished eating all of her Easter candy.
• Looks like my eulogy is going to contain the words “chicken” and “waffles.”
