I went to take out my trash, opened up the garbage can and was greeted by a possum. I literally jumped out of my flip-flops. Then I put the can in the back of my SUV, drove over to a park and shook him out of it. He was kinda pissed… After I shiv the guy whose mutt bit my puppy at the dog park, add the lobster-roll appetizer at Son of Gun to the menu of my last meal… ESPN showed an old clip from CBS’s pregame football show with Irv Cross. I miss when black dudes had parts in their afros… Hey Time Warner: if your Internet goes down during LA rainstorms what are you supposed to do? Go to the library like a common masturbator?
