Thursday, December 15, 2011

Get Your Butt To LA, Part 32: Not So Fast, Colonel.

There are understandable mistakes, and then there are flat-out embarrassing ones. Like the time the Kansas City Royals were left off the MLB schedule.

And in auditions, perfection matters. I’ll preface the following don’ts with the understanding that I’m no casting director, but I have written and cast a thing or two, and sat through hundreds of casting workshop scenes. And besides, I don’t have to put my hand in a fire to know it’s hot.

Keep them fingers dry. I saw this just the other day – an actress licked her finger to help her turn the page of a script. I immediately went from believing she was the character to knowing she was an actress. And a mistake-prone one at that.

Keep your feet on the ground. Sometimes, when an actor is sitting down in a scene, he’ll have a tendency to go into a default position and do the cross his legs thing in which one ankle goes on top of his other knee. People don’t do when they’re at a dinner table, being interrogated, or for God’s sakes, driving. Stop it.

Repeat after them. After you perform a scene a first time, a casting director may redirect you to try it a new way, and if your head is spinning in the middle of this big audition, you won’t hear the new direction and wind up performing it the same exact way. Instead, repeat the direction out loud back to the casting director so you hear it as well. Thank me later.

Stay in your lane. When you do get a scene in which your character is driving, just hold your script like it’s the steering wheel, and keep your hands low and the wheel still. So many actors move their hands constantly and wind up doing a whole Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane thing.

Use your damn script. Some acting teachers would rather you not worry so much about saying the words exactly as they’re written, so as not to affect your performance. But as a guy who’s written and cast a bit, take it from me: say the words exactly as they’re written. Writers HATE when you change their words, so get them right, and you will be very much on like Donkey Kong.