Charlie Sheen is responsible for more nonsensical rants than a comment section on a YouTube video.They’re probably fueled by substance abuse, and I can understand that. Every April 22nd, in honor of Richard Nixon’s death, I get drunk and make some really unpopular decisions.
Charlie once was a handsome man, but it seems the meth made his ears, nose and anti-Semitism grow (my mom still won’t forgive him), and when you start going down that road, you’ll get shitcanned fast. Chuck Lorre not only fired Charlie and killed off his character, but has been exacting revenge in the vanity cards he writes that flash up at the end of “Two and a Half Men.” Here’s the one from this week:
“Sometime last year I realized I had become the unwilling contestant in a reality show. I didn't understand the rules, wasn't sure if there even were any, and pretty much hated every second of it. For many months I kept hoping and praying that it would end. But it did not. Somewhere along the way, something inside me died. Anyway, now, suddenly, I'm being told that the reality show's been cancelled. Apparently, it was just one of those things that somehow got out of control. Sorry. Whoops. Live and learn. Moving on. Game over. And that's fine. I am so good with that. Yes, please, let's all move on. There's just one problem. That thing inside me that died? It walks at night. It's angry. It's hungry. And worst of all...it's writing a tell-all book.”
The week before featured just a simple photo of tin cans, which I didn’t understand until I read this quote from Charlie about Chuck: “I've spent, I think, close to the last decade, I don't know, effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.”
All I can say is I hope Chuck Lorre doesn’t have the same venom for dudes who park in his spot. I feel shame.
