This Week In @mattshevin Tweets.

• My team Master Sword – tonight at Improv Space in Westwood. Not sure what our name means, but praying it's not homoerotic. #ineedtoreadmore
• To the guy on Rosecrans with the bleached stripe in your hair: the Pittsburgh Steelers helmet look is so 2009.
• So to clarify: Jesus died for your sins so that a guy at my gym could put a tattoo of the cross next to one of Curly from the Three Stooges?
• Seeing Ray Charles on “The Nanny” last night made me wish I was him, so I wouldn’t be able to see Ray Charles on “The Nanny” last night.
• Answer on Wheel Of Fortune is a Shakespearean line. Midwestern contestants' heads exploded. May need a “to be continued” episode.
• Guy behind me on line at Wells Fargo hacking up a lung. I hope fashion sense isn't contagious. #jorts
• Homeless guy at Subway laughing his ass off like his imaginary friends are the cast of Soul Plane.
• Guys re-tarring my roof: as soon as you stop dropping shit, you'll get the ladder back. #hopetheygettwitterupthere
• Sorry guys – I got hacked. Good news: problem fixed. Great news: all you need to get rid of a hacker's remains is a tub full of Drano.