I Apply For His Job.

Just when you think Charlie Sheen can’t top himself, he comes up with the Funniest Thing Anyone Has Ever Said in the History of Ever.

He’s the career equivalent of a million Hindenburgs. And now, I take advantage, by asking Chuck Lorre to let me replace him. (That’s if Chuck forgives me for parking in his spot.)

Occasionally, people say I look Charlie Sheen, but I’d like to think that’s where the comparison ends. My argument is threefold:

1. I work cheap. Charlie made $2 million per episode, I’d do it for as little as $1.9 million. For me, it’s about the work.
2. I’m drug free. Though the last few days, my body is two-thirds Robitussin.
3. I’m hooker free. Paying for sex? I have trouble asking for extra ketchup at McDonalds.

I rest my case. Your move, Chuck.