It’s official – my Blackberry has been rendered obsolete. There are several acting websites I can’t log onto to submit myself for roles, and that's affecting my career. Also, the piece of shit is physically breaking down; I suddenly had no trackball the other day, and had to go to three Verizon stores to chase down a new one. If I don’t get an iPhone soon, I'm gonna head down to my local 7-Eleven and start taking hostages.So it came to this: because I’ve been a longtime Verizon customer, I was allowed first crack at the new iPhone last night, at midnight my time. The reason for the middle of the night launch is because Hawaii, six hours behind EST, continually gets hosed with this kind of stuff, so Verizon decided to toss them a bone at 9 p.m. Hawaiian.
Success at 12:01 a.m., thank Jesus – my new iPhone is being delivered Monday.
Since I didn’t know whether I would get though the barrage of millions of people logging on to the Verizon site last night, I prepared two posts just in case: one triumphant, one conciliatory. Here they are:
If I was able to purchase an iPhone:
Hell yeah! I’ve officially ordered the very first Verizon iPhone. Which means soon I’ll have even better Internet access in the palm of my hand. Suck that, Egyptians.
If I wasn't:
This is bullshit! Blackberry – I know you’re somehow involved. May you get a broken-glass handjob in Hell for this.
