Monday, November 29, 2010

Tastes Like Jerkoff.

I have thoughts of suicide, but it's mostly just hoping other people kill themselves.

My agent called me about an audition for a commercial last week, but all she could tell me was the audition address and a code-name for the commercial: “turkey.”

When I arrived, sure enough, it was called “turkey,” and I had to fill out three non-disclosure agreements. The casting director told me why: recently, an actor booked a big commercial for a company’s secret, new product, and before it was shot, he tweeted everything about his booking and the commercial’s plot. The client saw this, and not only fired him, but cancelled the entire shoot.

Must have been real kick in the shins there, huh Ace?

As a daily blogger, I understand the giddiness to share with the world a new gig, but I also realize the importance of keeping one's F’n mouth shut for a couple weeks until it’s okay to boast. Now, thanks to this shithead, my job as an actor is all the more difficult, what with code-names and the inability to research a company before I audition, or memorize my lines in advance.

Thanks a bunch, sir. You are like a giant cock-blocking robot developed in a secret government lab.

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