They used real gold to paint this over the entrance. I used tin foil over mine.
Your mom been hinting about a right-centerfield wall from the old stadium for her birthday? Now’s your chance.
A Tommy Bahama’s bar? At a ballpark in the Bronx? Well, then. (Sound of me walking frantically away.)
Beers of the world. If your “world” consists of only 11 countries. Actually, make that eight – three of the beers were German. I do dig the reversed-out Yankee jerseys all the vendors wear, though. 
New York’s Lobel’s Butchers has a shop in the stadium. This kid will always remember the first time his dad took him to a game. And he watched a chicken get disemboweled.
No detail was spared in the food court, with nifty food-related pics of Yanks above the counters. That’s Derek Jeter in the middle, pouring milk into a Seinfeld-sized bowl of Jeter Flakes, and Mickey Mantle eating a hot dog while sporting a “Yogi says Yoo-Hoo” t-shirt. I’m not sure which is less appetizing, however: the name Boar’s Head for lunch meats, or Ron Guidry’s jock showing while he gnaws on a post-game rib.
A farmers’ market in the ballpark? The east village is that way, ya hippies.
Seeing the old stadium across the street made me feel like I was at my new, hot young girlfriend’s place, peeking through the curtains at my ex-wife’s house. Sure, the missus and I had a lot of good times, but she’s old and smelly now.
On display: a baseball signed by every guy that ever played for the Yankees. It’s an undertaking I found utterly amazing, seeing as I’m getting as fat and lazy as Bookman from “Good Times.”
In the tan shirt is Paul McCartney, who caused quite a stir when he entered the ballpark and sat next to Jack Nicholson and Lorne Michaels. The White Sox advance scouts sitting behind me were pissed that the standing ovation caused them to miss two pitches. Cool guys, nonetheless. 
If you thought his head was an XXL in real life, you oughta see it on the jumbo-tron. Rest in peace, Teddy.The place was gorgeous and perfect and the way it should be for the best sports franchise on earth. Well done, Yanks.
