Thursday, July 16, 2009

New Levels Of Scumbaggery: An Ongoing Series.

Somebody wanna slap this jerk?

Just when I thought Levi Johnson’s baby’s mama’s mama made me experience acute dizziness and irritability, I read this in New York magazine:

“To deal with constant press inquiries and attention, Johnston turned to Tank, a giant pile of a man who serves as Levi’s bodyguard, publicist, agent and travel buddy. ‘I wouldn’t be able to do it without him,’ Levi says of Tank. ‘It’ is the teenager’s adventurous new life. The pair have already been to Los Angeles a few times for talent meetings. Tank arranged for Levi to appear on ‘The Tyra Banks Show,’ ‘Extra,’ and CBS’ ‘The Early Show.’

Tank explains that they are shopping a book, and Levi has been offered a ‘leading role’ in a movie with a former Miss Oregon. Then Tank mentions a soon-to-be-announced television project. ‘I don’t even want to call it a reality show. It will be a docudrama or something similar.’”

So let me get this straight: instead of taking classes, attending workshops, dropping off headshots at casting directors, auditioning, writing my own roles, living in cramped spaces, etc., etc., I should simply knock up an underage chick and become the toast of the town?

Who are the TV executives canceling gems like “Arrested Development,” “Pushing Daisies” and “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” so that we can watch this jerkoff’s “reality” (which apparently includes dining with his publicist at Bouchon Bakery)?

If you plan on tuning in to his show, and are friends with me on Facebook, save me the effort and just de-friend us now. It’s been real.

And on the upside, anyone notice that Octomom went away? Thank you, Jesus.