In the thespian equivalent of the old “number-of hot dogs vs. number of hot dog buns” mystery, there’s no rationale as to why acting headshots are 8”x10”, and the résumés we staple to them are 8½”x 11”.Why have I taken you down this terribly safe and dull road? Because in the “special skills” section of my résumé, in which I let casting directors know I can, among other things, ski, swim and speak with a New York accent, I list “Good with all animals – I have a Pit Bull and I’M the boss.”
I suppose this statement actually propagates the myth about Pits I’ve often used this blog to debunk, so maybe I oughta delete it. And the myth appears to be as alive as ever. Take, for example, the recent national “Tweet of the Day” from Dustin Keller, tight end for my favorite team, the New York Jets, about scaling a wall to elude a Pit Bull chasing him. Hey Dustin, how about focusing a little more on beating New England, and a little less on beating down my personal cause?
Check the stats anywhere you like, and you’ll find the breed most prone to aggression is the Dachshund. Chihuahuas rank second while Jack Russell Terriers come in third. Pits trail far behind.
Then check out my nephew, above, who likes to plop himself right down on Petey. The boy’s been doing it since he could walk; his big sister even earlier.
Back to the NFL, where quarterback Michael Vick is now out of prison and looking to be reinstated into the league. If some desperate team decides to give him a shot, I’m going to be one vicious Dachshund when it comes to vilifying them. Mike may have paid his debt to society, but forgive me if I don’t embrace a guy who shot and drowned dogs. I’m just funny that way.
