One of my top pet peeves – and trust me, there’s an ass-full of ‘em – is contrivance. Reality shows. Morning zoo crews. I even struggle with the artificial flavor in my Froot Loops.Every Sunday, Parade Magazine appears inside my local rag, the LA Times. Yesterday’s Personality Parade section was quite the doozy. Check out a reader’s question launched at some guy named Walter Scott, who heads up the column:
Q: Jamie Foxx portrays a cellist in the upcoming movie The Soloist. I know he plays the piano, but can he really play the cello?--Justin Reece, New York, N.Y.
So interesting Justin Reece of New York, NY would pose such a question, just days before this movie debuts. Let’s have at another:
Q: What does Gabrielle Anwar of USA's hit show “Burn Notice” do to stay so fit?--Ellen Jacko, Tucson, Ariz.
Couldn’t just ask how Gabby stays so fit? Had to mention the network and laud the show? One more:
Q: Thriller novelist James Patterson has sold 150 million books. How does he do it?--C. Brodie, Knoxville, Tenn.
What a fantastically topical question, C. Brodie, considering Patterson has two novels coming out this year. And good to see you did your homework on the book count.
Look, I understand the importance of good publicity. I know when I hit it big I’ll need plenty. And I also understand Parade is a frivolous entertainment mag, but it’s still technically a form of media, and these inane questions from what I assume are fabricated readers insult my intelligence. And I ain’t even the smartest – I went to a state school.
Cut the crap, Parade, and stick to the hard-hitting material: Howard Huge cartoons, and zesty chicken recipes.
--M. Shevin, Los Angeles, Cali.
