98% of the reason I created this blog was to give inspiration to anyone who happened to log on, especially young actors. 2% of the reason was to craft entries capable of causing young models to spontaneously disrobe. Whatever works.My impetus to inspire came from my favorite magazine, Esquire, and its monthly feature entitled “What I’ve Learned,” in which an A-list celebrity recaps the dozens of life lessons he’s acquired. But even better, every December issue features “What You’ve Learned,” sent in by Esquire readers. I can’t get enough of them, and from time to time I’m going to list some of my favorites.
Oh, and before you think I’m just phoning in today’s entry with others’ wisdom, don’t. I’ve got T-Mobile, and I can’t get good service from my apartment.
Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco. -- Bill McCrea, 58, Austin
If you are going to break someone's heart, do it quickly and painfully. This will pretty much ensure that they never bother you again. -- Tom Chiesa, 29, Dublin, California
Never buy illegal drugs from someone who seems extremely happy --Dennis McCarthy, 54, Auburn, New York
The American paperboy has been killed by corporate greed and shady men in Honda Civics with loud mufflers. -- Christopher Marino, 36, North Caldwell, New Jersey
If you look like Paul Giamatti but carry yourself like you're Brad Pitt, most people will see you as Brad Pitt. -- Robert Jackson Jr., 46, Davenport, Iowa
When you're feeling your worst, your most insecure, write it down. I assure you that no matter how depressed you feel at the time, you won't believe how stupid you'll sound later when you read it back. -- Hugh Vandivier, 38, Indianapolis
There is an inverse relationship between the attractiveness of a couple and the amount of affection they show each other in public. -- John Schlaefli, 35, Clackamas, Oregon
The closer you get to thirty, the more you wish you were twenty and the more you act like you are forty. -- Mike Spezialetti, 29, Pittsburgh
A real midlife crisis isn't as amusing as the ones you see in the movies. -- Terry Welch, 35, Pensacola, Florida
When a kid says, "Smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. -- Brian P. Cleary, 47, Cleveland
