“My father seemed to have a mysterious and growing anger toward me. He was increasingly volatile, and eventually, in my teen years, he fell into enraged silences. I suspect that as his show business dreams slipped further into the sunset, he chose to blame his family, who needed food, shelter and attention.I was punished for my worst transgressions by spankings with switches or a paddle. My father’s growing moodiness made each episode of punishment more unpredictable, and hence, more frightening. And once, when I was about nine years old, he went too far. That evening, his mood was ominous as we ate our TV dinners in front of the television. My father muttered something to me, and I responded with a mumbled ‘What?’ He shouted, ‘You heard me!’, thundered up from his chair, pulled his belt out of its loops and inflicted a beating that never seemed to end. The next day I was covered in welts and wore long pants and sleeves to hide them at school.
After my first appearance on “Saturday Night Live”, my father wrote a bad review of me in his newsletter for the Newport Beach Association of Realtors, of which he was president: ‘His performance did nothing to further his career.’ His best friend came into the office holding the newsletter, placed it on his desk and shook his head sternly, indicating a wordless ‘this is wrong.’ Later, my father gave an interview to a newspaper in which he said, ‘I think “Saturday Night Live” is the most horrible thing on television.’
When The Jerk was a hit, my life changed, though again my father was not impressed. I’d invited him to the premiere. The movie played well, and afterwards my friends and I took my father out to dinner. He said nothing about the film. He talked about everything but the film. Finally, one of my friends asked him what he thought of my movie. My father chuckled and said, ‘Well, he’s no Charlie Chaplin.’
I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.”
