Tuesday, March 18, 2008

This Is One Time I Kept My Mouth Shut.

A couple of years ago, I responded to an entertainment listing by a man looking to manage up-and-coming actors. He asked me to meet him at his office one evening, and turned out to be a British dandy who kept dropping the name of his close friend Stevie Wonder. He also had some secret "theory" as to why certain actors rose above the ranks to become huge stars. The more he wouldn't delve into this theory, the more uncomfortable I became. It began to occur to me that this cat was testing how bad I really wanted to be an actor.

Not bad enough to go down on you, you limey windbag.

Oh, and he wanted me to pay him a monthly fee for this stellar representation.

Every prom king and prom queen arrive daily in this town with big dreams of acting success. And for each one of them, a snake lies in wait, ready to pray on their naivet̩. So I can't stress this enough to my fellow actors: beware of everyone. And never pay a manager to represent youРhe should make money off you, not from you. Watch your back.

Thus ends today's disturbing storytime.