Voice, And Embodiment, Of God.

I think it’s risky to have heroes, but I also think there should be a national monument to the brave souls who are “First!” in Instagram comments.

Risky because they really may disappoint you when you meet them. Then again, not if they’re Johnny Holliday, the voice of University of Maryland sports for over 40 years. Johnny was the man when I was an undergrad, and hasn’t lost a step. He’s the tie that binds millions of us who attended the school, and when I met him for the first time during homecoming weekend in October, he spent a long, postgame commercial break getting to know me before he had to get back on the air. I almost shit.

Cut to last week, and my frat brother Buzzy, approached Johnny before a game and shot this:



Next week, I’m flying to DC/Maryland for a fraternity reunion dinner, then staying the weekend to see a game. Plus kibbitz with my good pal Johnny. See you soon.

It’s An Honor Just To Screen The Nominated.

I read about Tracy Morgan getting a kidney from his ex-girlfriend, and then thought about the women I’ve dated who wouldn’t loan out their DVDs.

I legally can’t give out my newest DVDs – they’re screeners for the SAG Awards. There are some very good latecomers this year, including one I viewed yesterday. (It was so real, I may never want to date again.)

I’ll post a list of my favorites on Friday, ahead of Monday’s Academy Award nominee announcement. I’m a giver.

Come And Get ‘Em.

Three things I dip my soft pretzels in:

1) Butter
2) Mustard
3) My feelings 

On the first day of 2017, I kicked off my first resolution – teaching myself to bake/cook – by making buttery soft pretzels. They were delectable, and made my apartment smell like Yankee Stadium, minus the weed.

Two New Year’s Days later, it’s become a tradition, but more importantly, it’s a lesson in making your resolutions attainable – like not becoming pope or getting right out of bed the second you have to pee in the middle of the night.

Either way, stop by if you’re in the neighborhood and I’ll heat one up for you.

With A Bang.

I lived in Texas for a short time. Every New Year’s Eve, the state would run ads reminding people not to shoot guns, because bullets come down. That’s right – they had commercials for gravity.

My new year has been terrific, and I’m trying to do something extra special every day. Yesterday, my friend Ariel and I went to LAX Firing Range, and got our testosterone on. (The employee checking us in asked us if we were police or military, and Ariel replied, “No, but we play them on TV.”)

 
Quick video of me shooting the 9mm. Gravity-free.

31 Seconds Of December

Most months may feel depressing, but December is depressing with tinsel.

My December was actually uplifting. Here it is, one second per day:

Now At A Studio 54 Near You.

If I could time travel, I’d go back and grab me in college and say, “Yes, books will nourish your soul, but take an appliance repair class.”

The Sound Inside is all about books and college and is a fascinating drama. It features only two characters: a creative writing professor at Yale and her student. The professor is played by Mary-Louise Parker, and before the play began, the audience was told no less than five times to make sure their phones were turned off. Then a theater employee told my mom and me to make sure we didn’t relax and put our feet up on the stage during the show. (My mom always gets kickass seats.) I assured the employee we weren’t tourists.

It made me wonder if Mary-Louise had really straightened out the staff about this, but then the play began, and she essentially had 90 minutes of continuous dialogue, and at one point sat on the edge of the stage, dangling her feet, her face about a foot-and-a-half from us. It was clear that any actor needed full concentration to encompass this role. She’s amazing.

The play is currently running at Studio 54, which had been a CBS studio before its outrageous night club era. It’s now reverted back to being a theater, but still retains much of its 70s gaudiness. Check out the lobby:

And the ceiling. All added to the experience. The play is great, and the space just as cool. If you’re in New York, you’ve got to see it.

Happy New Year. I Promise.

Not to brag, but I just completed my childhood New Year’s resolution: I correctly programmed my VCR.

Make resolutions. Seriously. I write them down, and at the end of year, I highlight the ones I’ve kept. My batting average is pretty high.

And even if you can’t live up to them, you have an out – just give them all up for Lent.