Trick Or Cheat.

The scariest Halloween stuff in stores this week is Christmas stuff.

One holiday at a time, please. Let’s enjoy tonight to the fullest, by logging onto Treatster, a new app/website that crowd-sources the best homes for candy in your neighborhood. The full-size Snickers are out there. Make them yours.

They Still Make These?

Well, at least my eight-year-old nephew can use it to see over the steering wheel when I’m too loaded to drive.

Friend In Lowe’s Places.

I’ve taken a drink every time my friend Ariel asked me to blog about his new commercial, and now I’m Amy Winehouse.

But he did ask nicely, so here goes: it’s for Lowe’s. That’s him on the right, playing a professional from the store who’s installed a pedestal sink for a not-so-handy couple.

The spot is running like crazy, especially during the World Series. But not many more times during the series as the Mets are shitting the bed at an alarming rate. Congrats nonetheless, Ariel.

Put It On The Fridge.

If there are peanut butter M&Ms on a desk and I am auditioning for a role, then I am not getting the role.

But it’s good to know that distractions aside, I have a shot. Above is a review from a casting workshop I attended last night, from a casting director for a new drama on FOX. Always good to have a fan.

Don’t Text And Demolish Bus Stops.

But if you must, make sure it’s in front of an auto body place:

We Feed LA.

I love to eat so much, I purposely programmed my iPhone fingerprint ID with my thumb covered in spaghetti sauce.

Many aren’t as lucky as me, and the other day I got to help them a bit by volunteering at the LA Food Bank. We put together buckets filled with food that kids can take home from school every Friday so that their families can eat over the weekend.

When you arrive, the food bank staff assigns you the item you’ll add to the buckets. I was part of quality control, a high-falutin’ name for doing the heavy lifting at the end of the line: weighing the buckets and shrink-wrapping them once we’ve stacked 48 on a pallet. It was a beast, and a back-breaker, but so rewarding I’d love to do it again.

By the way, my friend Alex, who is Mexican, was mildly offended after being assigned beans.

Drive Like A Super Uptight Parent. Got It.

The Sexiest Sexists In All The Southland.

If you’re anything like me, you can’t digest milk. Or say no to a great party.

My big brother is a big shot at an ad agency here in LA, and last night, I attended the firm’s 20th anniversary party. They spared no expense – a food truck featuring fabulous babes...

...and half-clad aerial performers. Yes, 20 years of exploiting women. The terrorists lose.

Getting Into The Halloween Spirit.

Nice attempt at a palm tree costume, cell tower.

Allow Myself To Share Praise Of Myself.

Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table. It’s what they want.

Focus on the people who’ve earned it. Like the folks from the Napa Valley Film Festival, who recently accepted World Class, the comedy short in which I recently wrote and starred.

The festival starts November 11th, but there was a special screening the other night, and afterwards, I received this email:

Hey Matt, 

Everyone at our private event LOVED World Class. Thank you so much for allowing us to do a pre-screen for the audience! 

Best, Whitney 

You made my week. Thank you.

Get To Know São Paulo, Part I.

I’ve been asked a lot which country was my favorite to visit last month, and it was definitely Brazil – in spite of its number one industry being the kidnapping of tourists.

I’ve still got a backlog of pics of São Paulo I’ve been meaning to share, including the above one of very cool attention to detail: the crosswalk by the historic opera house featuring a silhouetted pic of the opera house.

Not quite as cool: even the opera house isn’t safe from getting tagged.

The only breed of dog I saw was Golden Retriever. They were everywhere, and it made sense – Goldens are the Brazilians of canines: playful and beautiful.

Security truly s a necessity there, and these armored vehicle guys aren’t messing around – guns drawn at all times.

Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• The only time a man-bun is acceptable on a dude is when he’s vomiting.

• I needed that wedding to be Pearl Harbor. Because I wanted it to be da bomb. Just like that Michael Bay movie Armageddon.

• Where are all the nice guys? At home, probably, wondering why you just wanted to be pals.

• Yes, I will convince you to get MacBook. Stop shaking your cane at me.

• My SUV can sense an impending collision. The warning chimes of impending death are pleasant.

Date Rape Has A New Headquarters.

Stay Classy New York, the world’s first bar inspired by Will Ferrell characters and jokes.

Belated Thanks…

…to my friend Rob, who helped me slap together an audition on tape when I was in Brazil, using only a hotel room (with paintings removed from the wall) and an iPhone. You are the MacGyver of mensches.

Show It Who’s Boss.

Thank God for all the screenshots of the current temperature, or else I wouldn't know it’s hot as balls in LA right now.

So hot that I received a text from my neighbor yesterday morning as I was on my way to San Diego. The smoke alarm in my bedroom had been going off from 6:30 to 8:30 a.m. Poor Ricky had been stuck in the room with it the whole time.

Sorry, Ricky, and thanks so much to my neighbor for getting into my place and yanking that alarm off the wall. And for leaving it for me to smash with a hammer.

If Only.

At 4:30 a.m., the sound of an alarm going off can go right through your soul’s eyeballs.

But that’s when I have to wake up today. I have a big meeting down in San Diego, and I’m driving there and back and won’t be home until midnight.

To ensure I don’t fall asleep at the wheel, I’m dropping by Tijuana for some Mexican 5-Hour Energy.

My 2400th Entry.

After 2400 posts, if I’m not offered some sort of key to the city, I’m going to lodge a complaint with my blog shop-steward.

Fine, I’ll celebrate my own way – by choosing my favorite five entries from the last 100:

Prognosis: Meh. Glad my head is healed up, but I wish I could still use it as an excuse any time I screw something up. Brace yourself and go here.

Cruel Irony. If I ever miss out on a great opportunity like this again, put a gun to my head. Oh, wait, here.

Scrappy. June at our place looked like a MASH unit. Time to feel Ricky’s pain here. 

Official Selection. I’m actually not a wine drinker. Raise a glass of Yoo-hoo with me here. 

What I’ll Miss. Cows and a butler? Time to start a new bucket list. Relive the crazy good life here.

The Fifth Great Movie Of 2015.

Ever meet someone and you just know their phone screen is cracked without even seeing it?

Steve Jobs has had an impact on all of our lives, but especially on his development team. And his ex-girlfriend and mother of the daughter he repeatedly denies.

This isn’t a biopic, but instead a three-act play, focused on the launch of three major technolody products. Aaron Sorkin’s dialogue is as great as usual, and though he’s been under fire for making Steve Jobs look like a pretty evil guy, I thought Steve came off as admittedly flawed – very passionate, and at times compassionate. It’s fascinating to see how complex a man he was.

Making the film all that much cooler was director Danny Boyle, who shot each of the three acts in different formats: the 1984 launch was done on 16mm film, 1988 was shot on 35mm, and the launch iMac was on the digital ALEXA.

See this movie. It’s great.

Utmost Suspension Of Disbelief.

I’m going to see Steve Jobs tonight, and since it’s written by my favorite writer, Aaron Sorkin, it can’t help but be good. The only problem it might have is that Michael Fassbender is handsome as hell and Steve Jobs looked like Steve Jobs.

Oh Sweet Liberty.

I only had one intention this week: avoid the glorious fecal hurricane that is serving on a jury.

Last night, my dream came true, as I found out I wouldn’t be needed and had fulfilled my obligation.

Desperately hoping for the same outcome this week – and achieving it – was my friend Dave, who was also on call. We shared a moment:

Four Down. One To Go.

Best way to get out of jury duty: be the criminal.

Or just hold your breath. I’ve been on call all week, and have managed to make it through today as a free man. I’ll find out tonight if I don’t have to report tomorrow, and if I don’t, I’ll have fulfilled my obligation.

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that jury duty is like being in prison. Yes, it’s my civic duty, whatever. I’ll pass. I give back in my own ways. Like donating blood every eight weeks. And later this month, I’m going to work at the LA Regional Food Bank.

I’ll find out at 5 p.m. if I’ve beat this rap. Keep those fingers and toes crossed, everybody.

Much Respect.

We thankfully had some rain here in LA over the weekend. Not drought-ending rain, but enough to turn that frown into an inverse of a frown.

In the meantime, you gotta give credit to the DWP who is leading by example by not watering its grass and letting it die.

I’m Matt Shevin, And I Approve These Coaches.

“I’m smart. Everyone else is stupid.” – Everyone.

We’re all guilty of thinking it, and making bad decisions based upon it. But I knew better the other day, when I got an audition for a TV show. I could have simply memorized my lines, made a couple of choices about the character and dressed appropriately.

Instead, I went to the experts: my friends Aina and Bru. They’re the best at coaching actors. They helped me become completely prepared for the audition, and the casting director was very happy with my work.

They go above and beyond in everything they do. If you need to be coached, put on tape for an audition, have your reel edited, or anything directed, go to them.

Getting an audition is tough enough. Don’t blow that rare opportunity. Casting directors bring you in because they know you have the right look for the role, and can deliver what they need. So why go it alone, only to have them wonder at how you’ve managed to wrap all that tremendous talent in all that frump? Oh, honey. You’re not going to the prom in that?

Do your career a favor and visit Aina and Bru here: Undercurrent Media.

I Get Civilized And Shit.

My activities yesterday ran the gamut so much, I had what white women would refer to as a “Sunday funday.”

They included a visit to LACMA (LA Country Museum of Art), and the new Frank Gehry exhibit. It featured Gehry’s sketches, models and filmed interviews. I highly recommend it.

The day began with the complete antithesis of culture: watching the New York Jets at Sharkeez. The Jets were playing in London, so kickoff was at 6:30 a.m. PST, and I watched the game before sunsrise with my friends and a bunch of dirtbags. I’ve got range.

Realization:

If there is George Clooney’s new tequila on a table and I am auditioning for a role, then I am not getting the role.

Back To “Normal.”

And it’s official: the most expensive item in my apartment is my dog’s knee.

Many of my friends have asked how Ricky’s been doing since he had surgery for a torn ACL in July.

Couldn’t be better. He’s up and running around, and feels no pain. The surgeon did a phenomenal job – even the scar is barely noticeable.

Ricky was super patient throughout the entire recuperation, giving up walks for two months, and letting me put lots of big pills on the back of his tongue without whining once. He’s a great dog with a brand new, $4000 knee. It’s time to get our money’s worth.

No Pitch On This Pitch.

I feel as if Jeb Bush is like one of those kids on the soccer team whose mom forced him to join.

Trust me, I’m an uncle. I’ve been watching my nephew’s soccer games all season. His dad – my brother – is the coach, and attending the games alongside us is Cousin Sal, writer for “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” and Jimmy’s actual cousin.

My brother had talked to Sal about me, which normally gets a little icky for an actor. I’m not looking to hit him up for a role. But it doesn’t matter, since I’ve already been in a sketch on Jimmy’s show that Sal wrote. And I was in his buddy Adam Carolla’s movie. It’s the tiniest of worlds out here.

Anyway, he’s the nicest guy, and it’s good to hang out with him, because the last thing you want to do at a soccer game is watch soccer.