I Make Preemptive Amends.

The episode of my sitcom that I’m currently writing is going to be so obnoxious I apologize beforehand.

Among those I offend in the latest draft: Chipotle, the United Postal Service, and the advertising industry.

I’ll be expecting a few class-action lawsuits. (Or as I like to call them, “gangs for white people.”) Worth it.