But I always have time to offer advice. After the utterly clueless job my dad did raising my brothers and I, I very much enjoy helping someone shortcut the traps of adulthood. On his bar mitzvah two years ago, I wrote ten things I thought my friend Jeff’s son Jake should know as he became a man. On Saturday, I wrote ten more for Jeff’s younger son, Sam:
- Every man innately wants to fix his woman’s problems, but what she really wants is for you to just listen. Memorize this phrase: “I understand.”
- There’s no law that says you have to get married or own a home.
- On job interviews, always maintain the attitude that they’d be really lucky to have you.
- Be so friendly to people that if someone were to say you were a bad guy, no one would believe him.
- No matter what problem you have, deep down you know how to fix it.
- Everything worthwhile is going to be unbelievably difficult to achieve. But you’ll enjoy it that much more when you get it.
- Make discipline a habit. Make practicing your guitar for hours every day a normal thing. That’s what successful people do.
- People just want to feel appreciated. Tip well. Write thank-you notes. Never show up empty-handed.
- Never go more than nine miles-per-hour over the speed limit and you will never get pulled over.
- If you text a woman twice, and get no reply, game over. Persistence only works in movies; in reality it just says “stalker.”
