Friday, September 4, 2020

Prognosis Positive.

The good news: my hand isn’t broken. The weird news: the medical term for what I have is “boxer’s knuckle.” I’m not a boxer, so it’s the most inapt diagnosis I’ve received since I had “marathoner’s anemia.” (I really had it.) Let’s presume future maladies will be related to reading or rooting for the Mets. 

I would like to get a second opinion on the staff getting both my first and last name wrong on my x-ray. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing – maybe I’ve been Jason Bourned, and Michael Shavin is my given name. I actually am a boxer, who grew up on the hard-scrabble streets of Toledo only to be repurposed by the government. It would at least explain why I can’t remember much and have a sudden need to evade the law.