Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• I carved my pumpkin into a smaller, worse pumpkin.

• If a vegan does CrossFit, which do they talk about first?

• One time, a woman posed without a fake mustache, and she was thrown off of Facebook. I wouldn’t risk it.

• I wonder how many times Chris Brown has been told to wait in the car.

• I told my niece, “Let’s play who can stop talking forever. Please win.”

• Sure, I had a black eye, but you should have seen the other guy. He was huge and really good at punching.