Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• When I die, I want my remains scattered in Yankee Stadium, Vegas, and Manhattan Beach. Also, I don’t want to be cremated.

• Me, as an Ivy League-educated lawyer? You just helped my Jewish mom achieve a lifelong dream.

• All you need is a British accent, and you could convince me to donate a kidney.

• Poor people sure do a good job finding money for tattoos.

• I wonder what women do with all the tons of time they save by typing “lol” instead of “laugh out loud”.

• I will cause a 12-car pileup before I let you cut in before an onramp.