Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• Jacqueline Bisset sounds like her handlers feed her peanut butter to make it look like she’s talking.

• I always dress up when I go dairy shopping. It’s why I keep a sombrero in the trunk.

• Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation’s ability to stow overhead luggage.

• As an actor, I feel obligated to hang up pictures of famous dry cleaners in my house.

• Stir and heat an additional minute? Come on, Lean Cuisine, I thought we both knew what this was.

• In 4.5 billion years the sun will burn out. But on the plus side, no more sunset Instagrams.