I Made Some Gooey Goodness.

Even if I didn’t feel like cooking, I was too exhausted to say thank you at a restaurant 53 times.

I’m still teaching myself how to do this, and I still love it. In my sixth attempt at cooking, I made arancini – Italian rice/cheese balls. There’s a place in the Los Feliz section of LA called Little Dom’s that is well-known for its rice balls, and I went there for the first time last year and fell in love.

Helpful tip: I used sushi rice, because it sticks a little better around the mozzarella cubes. It sticks to everything, really – your hands, the counter, the dog. Worth it.

Making these meant I got to break out my fryer skimmer again (I used it to make crab wontons), which is entirely satisfying.

The final result: scrumdiddlyumptious. Crunchy on the outside, savory on the inside. So good dipped in marinara sauce. My partially-Italian ancestors would approve.

Top O’ The Birthday To You.

I’ve always thought the happy birthday song was kinda shitty, like it was written by someone who forgot a gift and just came up with the song on the spot.

I’m still up for a party, though. Even when my friend Mike invited me to join him for his friend Kristi’s birthday Saturday night. My initial response was, “Out in Hollywood on St. Patrick’s Day?” To which Mike said, “Hey, this isn’t Boston.”

Good point. Those cities back east can really turn St. Pat’s into a war zone. But out here, we handle our liquor, and Kristi, a successful TV writer, spared no expense for her party, renting out the upstairs of the fun Sycamore Tavern, and keeping the fancy pizza and donuts flowing. There were celebrities milling about, too.

Happy birthday, Kristi. And St. Patrick, I think.

For The Very First Time:

This is my first St. Patrick’s Day since I found out I’m part Irish. I have a lot of making up to do. In the past, I spent the day watching Ghost and Dirty Dancing in honor of Patrick Swayze.

Tomorrow night, a party at a bar in Hollywood. Then a fight. Then vomiting in the back of an Uber. In honor of my people.

Hell Yes.

I’m thinking about changing my occupation on Facebook to “comedian” so that no one will follow me back.

I would too, unless I got a request from Bo Burnham. He’s so brilliant, he’s not of this planet. I see lots of celebrities attending movies at ArcLight Theater, and it’s cool, but when I sat behind Bo while he was there to see Ex Machina, I almost shit.

Five years ago, he posted his first comedy special at the age of 23 on YouTube. I’d never seen anything like it. Check it out:


Now, Bo has written and directed a movie called Eigth Grade that will be released in July. There have been a few great coming-of-age films made in the last few years: The Spectacular Now, Edge of 17, and Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. Films that John Hughes would have made if he were still alive. I think Bo has shot the next one.

Here’s the trailer. You’ll see what I mean:
 

I Want To Go To There.

Hot tub cinema in Los Angeles.

Yelping It.

This discarded knife on the roof next to my gym's parking lot is the nicest aspect of that neighborhood.

Culinary Corner - Ancient Chinese Rangoonness.

Being hungry again a half hour after eating Chinese food isn't about the food being Chinese – it's about you being American.

I'm always hungry for more Chinese, so in my sixth attempt at cooking I made one of my favorite starters: crab and cream cheese wontons.

Here's what you get when you sup at Matt Shevin's place: while most restaurants use three-parts cream cheese to one-part crab meat, I went 50/50. I'm a giver.

Also, once again, I made the wrappers from scratch. It's the most tedious process of all, but I'm a monster that can't be stopped. Speaking of which, I fried my middle finger during the whole process:

 I add ice to every list of ingredients just in case.