Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
• If a vegan does CrossFit, which do they talk about first?
• One time, a woman posed without a fake mustache, and she was thrown off of Facebook. I wouldn’t risk it.
• I wonder how many times Chris Brown has been told to wait in the car.
• I told my niece, “Let’s play who can stop talking forever. Please win.”
• Sure, I had a black eye, but you should have seen the other guy. He was huge and really good at punching.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Shaquille O’Neal shooting a free throw with a grenade. I threw up in my mouth just typing that.
But if you want to see a great sorta-super hero movie, the new flick Birdman is out and I really liked it. It’s a total testosterone-fest – with really well fleshed-out characters and several terrific performances, along with a very enjoyable technical gimmick.
The film is essentially about a washed-up Hollywood actor (perfectly casted Michael Keaton) who’s trying to revive his career by directing and starring in a Broadway play. It’s really interesting to see the levels of acting that take place within the film — the difference between movie acting and stage acting. That’s one of many good layers within this film, which is incredibly worth seeing.
Michael Keaton will get an Oscar nomination. It’s really good. See it.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
I kinda had something to do with it, after drilling him in the mouth with a baseball on Sunday. He took it pretty damn well.
The same can be said for his sister, who you might recall lost a tooth during a tickle fight with me:
Monday, October 27, 2014
And today is kicking off incredibly fruitful, as I’m being interviewed at 7 a.m. for a podcast. The topic is my blog, and I do love to riff about it.
I’ll post when the show is available, but in the meantime, just imagine me, tripping over my own tongue this early as I botch a Q&A, and you’ll have an inkling.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
And here in LA, vote the shit out of Bobby Shriver, who placed the ad in the LA Times this week, about bringing more filming back to LA. He’s one more Kennedy who gets it, and I like it.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Nonetheless, I spent last night doing more editing on a short that I wrote, and I’m really happy with how it’s turning out.
Pardon my lack of humility when I say: festivals, start your boners.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
I’ve had the pleasure of saying what’s on my mind for a ridiculous amount of entries. And on this milestone, as per tradition, I chose my favorite five posts of the last 100:
Road Hard: The Wrap Party. There’s nothing than chasing a movie shoot with fortified wine. Black out with me here.
And It Ain’t The Exhaustion Talking. I get a little wussy when I haven’t slept. Snuggle with me here.
What I Think Every Dude Should Know. Educating the latest dudes who turn pro, one bar mitzvah at a time. Grow a pair here.
Eight Guys Eat Their Way Through Wisconsin: An iPhone™ Photo Gallery. I don’t need pictures to remind me of this weekend; the gut I can’t get rid of is memory enough. Road trip with Fatso here.
Here’s To My Friend. As I wrote this on the flight back from Boston, I wondered if I should even post it. I had no idea if it would resonate with anyone. It turned out to be one of the most popular entries I’ve ever written. Man-hug here.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
And then my new bride and I would watch some real TV – really amazing TV. “Marry Me” is the best new show on television. It’s so well written, so crammed full of jokes, so well cast with great characters played by hilarious actors that it’ll be off the air in about half a season. Because people wanna watch garbage. Reality shows.
It’s on tonight. You’ll see from the opening scene what I mean. It’s really good. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Monday, October 20, 2014
well, once every four years), I had the kickass celebrity sighting of Mel Brooks at Porta Via in Beverly Hills.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
But my friend Ted Melfi needs no help. He wrote and directed a new movie starring Bill Murray, and this is the week it’s getting a wide release.
It’s been interesting texting with Ted all week. I thought this would be the greatest moment of his life – launching his first huge film – but he’s actually as worried as any filmmaker no matter what the project.
Probably because producer Harvey Weinstein has been putting the pressure on, making it clear that the first weekend a film opens is everything. I thought I was rooting for Ted before, but now I’m obsessed, checking box office numbers more than him.
Well, St. Vincent actually opened last weekend, in a handful of theaters, and it wound up grossing more than any other film per theater. Like, way more.
Ted forwarded me Ellen’s tweet the other day, and it can’t hurt that she has 33 million followers on Twitter. Everybody, fingers crossed.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
I downloaded Waze a couple years ago, but it was only recently that I began using it and fell in love. This seems to be the prevailing pattern among all users: skepticism, then curiosity, then infatuation.
I understand the hesitation. The interface is a bit of mess until you adjust the settings. The logo is kinda spermy. You think traffic is shit no matter what. How could this possibly help?
It helps like you can’t imagine. Waze is crowd sourced, so it’s constantly evolving, getting you where you’re going faster, often providing a different route every time. I love that. Its shortcuts take you through cool neighborhoods you’ve never seen before. It gamifies your drive. You can select from a variety of voices, including Ichabod Crane and actor Terry Crews. Another plus (but in retrospect a negative): I found out that the way I’ve driven home off the 405 Freeway ten-thousand times was longer than it had to be. I’ll kick my own ass, thanks.
And talk about intuitive. You might ask yourself why, if I needed to continue on Beethoven, it took me out of my way for one block:
Oh, and notice the icon on the lower left? Waze encourages you to report cops, so that fellow users can avoid tickets. Suck it, pigs.
Google knew the value of Waze – it paid $1.3 billion dollars for it. But you can download it for free. And the more of us who get on it and use it, the more accurate the navigation and real time driving conditions get reported, the sooner traffic will ease everywhere. You are a hero.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Actually, it doesn’t really hold true for my town – Los Angeles – because I can’t emphasize enough how amazingly supportive the people are. Case in point: my friend Aina was in a play Saturday night, and we packed the house to see her really nail a challenging role.
LA is the best. Seriously, come out and we’ll take care of you. Even you, pieces of shit.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
I pretty much have him beat, anyway. Out tonight in Hollywood, casting workshop tomorrow, followed by seeing my friend Aina in a play, then dinner out for her birthday.
In the meantime, will everyone go see Gone Girl, because the spoiler gag rule is expiring and I’d like to discuss the damn film with you? Okay? Okay.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
My friend Ted Melfi’s film St. Vincent had its New York premiere Tuesday night, and I talked to Ted about it yesterday. In interviews, Bill Murray said he’s still asking Ted to make a change in the film before it opens tomorrow, and Ted told me “Yeah, it’s one music cue that would cost $150,000 to undo at this point!” So it ain’t happening. Doubt it’ll affect the Oscar nomination you’re gonna get Bill, Ted.
Above is a post-premiere Q&A with Ted and the films’ stars. It was just a few years ago that Ted and I were doing the same for the featurette I wrote and starred in and Ted directed. Showbiz is the best.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Ben Affleck? Not so much. When David Fincher, director of Gone Girl (and who has become the best director in Hollywood) wanted Ben to wear a Yankee cap in a crucial scene. But Ben, super Boston fan, refused. He told the New York Times:
“I said, ‘David, I love you, I would do anything for you, but I will not wear a Yankees hat. I just can’t. I can’t wear it because it’s going to become a thing, David. I will never hear the end of it. I can’t do it.’ And I couldn’t put it on my head.”
So he wore a Mets cap. Not very ballsy.
On the other hand, it reminded me of an article I read in New York Magazine, about Jack Nicholson in The Departed:
Jack’s sadistic Irish Southie is so evil that he wears a Yankees hat on the streets of Boston. “First of all, they wanted me to wear a Red Sox hat,” he grumbles, “but I said, all things being equal, I don’t want to. “My Yanks, they came before the ¬Lakers, of course,” says the Jersey native. “But Kristen [Dalton], my inamorata in the picture, she wore a Red Sox cap both to subtly indicate domestic conflict and to politically mollify the fans in Boston.”
It was a pleasure being at Fenway Park when the Sox buried the hatchet for one day and honored a Yankee. And now, rivalry restored.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Gone Girl is not exactly the date-movie of the year (unless you’re looking to scare to your spouse straight), but it’s a David Fincher classic all the way. This one has the feel of his last film, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, in that it’s a gripping thriller with a pace that glides, and while it’s two-and-a- half hours long, I wished it was longer. Roger Ebert said it right: “No good film is too long, and no bad movie is short enough.”
Gone Girl is amazing. Bring the wife, put the armrest up and snuggle.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
I’ve taken it upon myself to teach my nephew early on that things don’t always go your way. Free life lessons. Like never get trapped in the third row with me when I have access to bubble gum.
Also, don’t accept a role in your uncle’s next comedy short, as evidenced in my new script: